Surviving & Thriving in Special Education:

Look for the Humor

Laugh or Cry?

Michael Giangreco and Kevin Ruelle explain what I mean so much better than I could in their comics, which are housed at UVM. These five in particular always remind me that even in the most annoying training or the most obnoxious meeting, there is still something I can probably find to laugh at later. Maybe. If I squint hard enough.

Description This cartoon shows two people, one being a paraprofessional and the other a colleague, walking down a stone-lined path toward the water's edge. As they approach the water the white stones lining the path turn into teeth and the path turns into a tongue as the two walk into a wide open mouth of a giant crocodile. The paraprofessional, with trepidation on her face says, "After such a brief training, am I really ready?" Her colleague assures her, "No worries. You've just completed our basic parapro training -- you're good to go!" The tag line under the cartoon reads, "Beware of the training trap, you could be eaten alive!"

This cartoon shows a bearded biker wearing a black leather jacket with a skull and crossbones on the back sitting on his motorcycle while placing a file folder in a file cabinet. One file says, "No one's ever going to see us again are they?" Another file folder replies, "Nope!" In the background a rock band consisting of two guitar players and a drummer are signing to the melody of Steppenwolf's Born to be Wild, although the words have been changed to: "Get your motor runnin'. Head out on the highway. Lookin' for adventure in whatever comes our way. BORN TO BE FILED!" The tag line reads, "Teammates engage in their annual pot-IEP completion ritual."

This cartoon shows a boy sitting in chair and desk; the image shows him from just above the waist down. He is squirming and there are crawling on the ground near his feet, up his legs, and near his belt. The tag line under the cartoon reads, "After a hasty special education placement for behavior problems, school official were embarrassed to learn that Marty really did have ants in his pants."

Description The cartoon shows two men in front of a dart board. On the dart board there are 6 sections, there are pieces of paper tacked in each section. The papers say in clockwise order, River Rd, Central High, West Middle, Grand Ave, Main Street, and East Middle The Man in the lower left corner of the panel reads from a list in his hand and says, "Next is April Baker, occupational therapist. Where will we assign her next year?" The man in the lower right corner has a blindfold on and is holding a dart in his right hand ready to throw it at the dart board. He says, "Let's find out!" The tag line reads "Parents finally discover why their children seem to have new support staff every year."

Description This cartoon shows a box-shaped machine with gears and levers and a conveyor belt with people going through it. As the people enter they are slumped over wearing dark robes with a dark cloud over each of their heads. The sign above these people entering reads, "Nervous, Worried, Angry, Anxious, Unprepared, Negative, Apprehensive." As the people pass through the machine and emerge from the Output end they are depicted wearing white robes, with angel's wings, smiles on their faces, and sunshine over each of the heads. The sign above these people reads, "Positive, Good, Successful, Amazed, Pleased, Wonderful, Interesting." The tag line under the cartoon reads, "The Amazing Inclusive Education Teacher Transformation Machine."

Where I find the humor

My Story

It used to drive me insane when folks told me not to take the melt down of a student or of my classroom personally. Like I cared about the student, cared about my program– when something went wrong it WAS personal.  Maybe that advice works for you– don’t take it personally, shake it off, it isn’t about you. If so, more power to you. But for me, what worked besides coping strategies was having a really terrible sense of humor and someone to laugh about it with. I mean all of the yoga I did and the crazy amounts of tea I brewed also helped (more on those later in the series), but it was having a twisted sense of humor that helped me gain perspective on the stuff that went down.

So here’s what I mean. One day in maybe my second year of teaching, two students are having behavioral challenges. I taught a behavior support classroom, so no surprise there. All of the other students who had not gotten drawn in were out at extra recess as a reward for excellent choices. I was in the middle of the room catching up on paperwork while a male student in one corner of the room and a female in the other were… venting??… steam. Or maybe just steaming. Both were totally safe– no physical aggression or desire to leave their cool down areas, but they were loud. At that moment, without warning (see why you should be nice to front office staff? You want a warning!), two parents arrived to visit my classroom and see the program. As they walk in, the girl is screaming, “D$%%!” at the top of her lungs as the boy screams back, “P@$$!” No other words. Just those two back and forth and back and forth. The parents come in, look around, talk to me a minute, and leave. At first I felt so freaking embarrassed that my classroom was like that when they visited…. And then I talked it over with my colleagues and we started cracking up because, face it, it was kind of funny. What made it even better was that the parents got their child transferred to my program shortly after that because, apparently, they had liked what they saw. They liked the fact the classroom was safe, good behaviors were being rewarded, and I was not yelling at the students. 

Here’s another laugh or cry moment. A student who had spelling (and profanity–and actual safety issues that we cared about a LOT more than the profanity) challenges was having a rough day. He really did not want to work on his spelling intervention. He wound up in the adjoining classroom to mine working with the behavior specialist and was feeling pretty hot under the collar because he did NOT want to spell. When I walked in, he really wanted me to know that I was a bitch. The behavior specialist decided this was an excellent moment to work on spelling and pretended not to understand until the student could spell the word correctly. After about ten minutes of increasingly frustrated yelling, the student finally spelled the word (skipping the t but his lesson was on digraphs so we didn’t care) and then began working on the rest of his spelling lesson. My choices were either to be upset or to find it freaking hilarious that the desire to insult me for wanting to do spelling with him was so great that the student would… spell. It’s laugh or cry and laughing worked a whole lot better for me than saying, “It isn’t me,” or “Don’t take it personally, he’s just having a bad day.”

Sometimes the stories were just … sweet? Almost sweet? Like one time a student was so proud that he had a gift for me and gave me these shiny rhinestone earrings. Talking to his case manager later, it turned out he had been developing some shoplifting issues… Or the time a student proudly gave me a headless McDonalds Happy Meal toy as a “gift,” and then came back after lunch to ask if she could have the gift back. Or the time a parent’s bosom started to snore during a meeting and I thought I was going crazy (turns out there was a REALLY well hidden baby under there). Or the time a colleague who should not have still been working stood in room 206, looked at her schedule- the same one she had had for WEEKS, and asked where room 206 was. 

I found that being able to see the humor in each moment, even if it was only later post yoga and destressing, helped me keep perspective on all of the things that happened every day, the things that could either drive me crazy or make me laugh. And my co-workers helped.

The same fabulous behavior tech from before just generally had an intriguing sense of humor. I am short. He is tall. What he liked to do was to find my cell phone and stick it somewhere high up in the classroom and start calling it so I would be teaching and suddenly hear my phone in the ceiling or from some other crazy spot. I then got to spend the next free period trying to figure out how to get it down, which he always found the funniest part of all. 

Anyhow, maybe for you excellent coping strategies are enough or you really can not take things personally. For me, reframing and finding a way to see how ridiculous things were was what kept me sane, kept me coming back to work, and kept me from burning out even when it felt like nothing I was doing was working. What helps you maintain perspective when things go sideways? Does, “Don’t take it personally” work for you? If not, what does?

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