Thriving as a Special Educator Tip #4: Treat Your Paras As Colleagues Not Employees

Soooo if you thought that teaching special education meant doing super fun activities with students all day, I am betting that your life is kind of sucking right now. Teaching special education mostly means navigating paperwork and really complex interpersonal relationships. Some of the most complicated are with paraprofessionals. Not all states use paras the same way. In Virginia, there are really few and they mostly do one-on-one type work. In California, they deliver a huge portion of all special education services. Regardless of where you work, you are probably the not quite manager of a para– someone who makes their schedule and maybe asks them to do stuff but doesn’t do their evals or have any real power. If that’s you or you have anything but perfect days of glory and sunshine in your relationships with your paras, then this blog is for you. 

So here is the short version of this blog: R–E–S–P–E–C–T. Get the whole Aretha Franklin song in your head and you’ve basically got this blog post down. For those who wanted more than a song, keep reading. First, let me start with my perspective. I started as a para. I was explicitly told to sit that my opinions were not welcome in meetings on the students I served. Loved the staff I worked with, but didn’t like the feeling that what I thought mattered less because I didn’t have the right paper. As a teacher, I also hated how paras were Ms. First Name and teachers Ms. Last Name (okay there must have been some guys but really, not lying, after my first two years sooo sooo few). And I couldn’t help but notice how much less white my paras were than me… So because of my own story and because I work hard not to be blind to the undercurrents of race and class, I have a bias towards treating paras with (drum roll) R–E–S–P–E–C–T. Okay soapbox done (phew). Stories begin. Here are some of my stories of paras I have worked with and what I learned… Note that I was going to name each section after a lyric from Respect but really, it sounds incredibly weird to talk about a colleague with lines like… Whip it to me. So moving on from the song, here are some stories and lessons learned.

The Queen

So if one of my most favorite people in this world reads this, I hope she knows I am writing about her. To be fair though, I am changing her name to the Queen because she was seriously my royal. The Queen had a son born with a disability when she was young so she got special education– and she had a sense of mission in her day to day work. She would love the students and push them every single day to learn the most and be the most they could. She took students to church on the weekends, knew their families, and knew their stories. Queen also has INSANE patience, loves math, and can manage behaviors without being phased. Did I mention that she is pretty much perfect?

If your karma is amazing, maybe you will get a Queen. If you do, you will know that your number one goal is for her to never, ever leave you. For me that meant: 1) Working with the admin to try to get her extra hours so she didn’t need to leave the school for more money; 2) Finding “creative” (also known as underhanded) ways to get her paid for tutoring after school to again try to keep her; 3) Fighting the district and being really creative when they tried to pull her; 4) Showing and not just telling her how amazing she was (aka stocking the room with her favorite snacks, always asking for her opinion and working with her on her schedule rather than just making it for her). With a Queen, your life is golden as long as you can keep her– so move the stars and planets to ensure that you can!

The Survivor was a bit different. I spent one year at a really backbiting school where the staff were used to being treated with disrespect. At a school where folks turned over every year (including me because I was OUUUTTTT), the Survivor had lasted for over ten years. She had done it through sheer determination, force of will, and a willingness to gossip and trash talk literally everyone. When I showed up, they had just collapsed three special education classrooms into one. Her room for the ten years was gone. Then my colleagues told her that her giant desk might not fit in the not large enough for three teachers and three paras classroom. It was on. The Survivor wanted her desk. She wanted to run her groups the exact way she had for ten years. She wanted to use the materials that had worked for her for ten years. She wanted to keep the schedule that she liked and not get moved room to room to room. She was also about twenty years my senior and had decades more experience in special education. The Survivor had no interest in listening to me or changing what she was doing…. And we were at a school that had decided to change EVERYTHING. 

So what did I do? After enormously screwing up by not understanding the desk and assigning her a schedule without talking to her (which blew up in my face at a very nuclear level), I started to get it. She was an expert on the school and the students and a professional who deserved respect. I started getting sneaky. I backed down on everything I didn’t care about. She got to put her desk where she could make it fit. Which was pretty much in a closet but hey, so was mine. Rather than telling her what to teach in her groups, I asked her to show me her materials (some of which were super cool), got excited about them, and started showing my materials that I thought went well or built on what she had. We made a two professionals sharing materials and ideas moment…. And she wound up using most of my materials– along with some of the ones she loved. I couldn’t back down on the schedule so I threw the principal (who was evil and deserved it) under the bus so hard that I am sure he had skid marks (aka the parts she hated about the schedule were basically his idea and I agreed with her but what do you do?). I tried to be her colleague and not her boss. Let me be clear– I don’t think she ever liked me but we went from  nuclear explosions and armed detentes to a collegial relationship that included the stuff I cared about much– research based materials in the intervention groups and a schedule that met students’ hours.

I had one para who the kids loved and was really fabulous in so many ways– except one. She could not come to work on time. This is a short one because really, it turned out there isn’t a lot you can do. We had some bleak para moments and there was no way the school would really fire someone who was actually good with the kids over this (like seriously we had some people that we were like…um…maybe you could make copies? maybe?). But also we needed her at work. We did a performance improvement plan, I moved back her start time, I put bribes for her in the classroom, I texted her before work, my principal made her sign in at the moment she showed up………………… nada. The best I came up with was a coping plan. She had to work her full hours so for every minute she was late, she stayed late and I had a special group for her to work with in the the make up slots and I figured out how to structure her first group of the day so that it worked even if she came in five to ten late. Most folks aren’t perfect and my principal and I came to the decision that nothing short of firing her would have changed her tardiness and we needed her too much– so we found a way to make it work (and yes, moving her start time later did not help. She just could not be on time!). I think sometimes that’s how it goes. You pick the battles you can win and figure out how to live with the rest. 

Okay. I have had a lot, in the more than fingers on one hand, paras who had complex issues. Some had physical challenges doing the job or coming to work but wanted to keep doing it or didn’t want to talk about the physical stuff. Some had emotional challenges of their own that made dealing with the kids when they got challenging… explosive. Some had difficulty with the academic content and supporting students with the content. Some were just awful at their jobs and shouldn’t have had them. Just as an FYI when you have that one, mazel tov. Good luck. You aren’t (in most districts) a direct supervisor which means an admin needs to do the paperwork. There is a lot of paperwork and this is rarely the priority for them it is for you. Good luck.

Also, just FYI, it is really hard to be PC and talk about the actual challenges you face in this job. I wound up erring on the side of honesty so my apologies in advance. 

Okay. Onto what has sort of worked for me.

• For paras with physical challenges that impact job duties: This for me has mostly been paras who were very large, which also impacted their ability to sit comfortably at many desks and to access the weird compact spots of many classrooms. Most did not have ADA documentation, but I treated the physical conditions as such and worked on creating a schedule that was physically manageable. Here’s what that meant:
  • All classrooms they served in the morning were in the same hall and I limited transitions.
  • I built extra time into their schedule for transitions
  • Even when they worked with small children, I made sure the desk they were working at would be comfortable for them– and the chair.
• For paras who struggle with modulating their volume: This is a weirdly common one (for teachers too!) doing push in services. Some people (like me!) talk loudly and some teachers HATE noise in their classroom. This can make doing push ins a nightmare. Sooooo here is what I have tried:
  • Match teachers and paras carefully based on volume. Like anyone who has ever tried to keep me quiet for more than a nanosecond has learned, people are hard to change. I have had no success changing folks’ volume for more than a class period or two– but you can get a good match.
  • Match the time of day carefully. There are normally some activities where teachers are more okay with noise. You can also structure the push in carefully– like the first ten minutes are just the para also learning the content (when the teacher wants it quiet) and then the push in really starts (when the teacher is okay with noise)
  • Think about who does push in and who needs to do more pull out. It isn’t always about skills….
  • I mean you can also try a volume meter like you use with kids but good luck. How are you going to pull that off without a major problem?
• For paras who struggle with managing their emotions: I wish this was less common. Kids can be annoying and some folks at certain points in their lives don’t have bandwidth for this. Weirdly, this is the one where I have been the most successful in long term change.
  • Make sure the para goes to ALL relevant district trainings. A non-restraint focused Pro-Act or other conflict management training (or even better one on mindfulness) is really useful.
  • Assess and support the para like you would a student. You can normally see triggers– and with adults often if you give them a chance to talk and blow steam early, they don’t snap with the kids. It can be a pain, but giving the same TLC I give to kids who are experiencing self-regulation challenges has been really effective for me. I get folks who feel more seen and are a bit less explosive. I totally get that this is not your job. Like not even remotely. But if you can’t fire someone, you have to find some way to get them to an emotional state where they aren’t snapping at students and creating problems.
  • Pair paras and students carefully. The para with the hair trigger should not get the snarkiest kid in the group or the one who has literally never resisted calling out.
  • Provide lots of positive reinforcement. People are less nasty when they feel seen and appreciated. I certainly am. 
  • Build self-management techniques from deep breathing to mindfulness to whatever into team meetings and talk explicitly about coping strategies. Don’t shy away from the issue but be positive– and practice what you preach. Start using your own strategies and make them obvious so that there is a model.
  • Work with your admin. Find out what other options you have. Maybe firing is an option, a medical leave, or more mandated training.
• For paras who struggle with providing good academic support: For me this comes in two forms. One is paras who do the work for the students. The biggest place that this comes up is writing. I have a lot of folks who write for and not with the students. The second form is not knowing the content. Paras only have to have a high school diploma and many don’t have the strongest academic foundation themself.
  • Provide training. Districts should have training for paras on how to provide academic support. Even if you are a body down for a day, it’s worth it. But you can also do training– training on the academic content, training on how to support students without enabling them. I ran my own training at least once a month for paras because I wanted stuff done a certain way and that wasn’t going to happen without training.
  • Think about what grades and subjects the para can support. I did a lot of writing support because that balance was hard for my paras. One of my paras was great at math so I skewed her schedule that way. Another loved phonics. I tried to mess with the schedule to pair strengths and gave myself whatever was hardest for folks. That might not work for you– but what schedule adjustments might help you?
  • Provide pre-teaching and gradual release of responsibility like you would for the students. If they don’t know the content, pre-teach it to them– or make sure that they are in general education for the instruction and not just the practice. That is huge. If you are at a site for multiple years, try to give folks the same grade levels to support over time so they build their academic knowledge. Teachers struggle a lot when you thrust them from fifth grade to Kinder (hello San Diego– why do you do that to teachers?). Paras do too! Let them build skills and expertise